Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
