Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
