i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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