That's intense
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
