How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
