I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize