i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
