foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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