Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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