Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
