Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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