Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
