I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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