i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
