first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
