A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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