I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize