My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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