ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
