My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
