I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
