Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize