goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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