Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
