The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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