Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Screwed.edu
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
