you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
