Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
