you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
