I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
