..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
