I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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