Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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