IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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