haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
