So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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