We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
