the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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