Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
