Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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