just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
