If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
