Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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