sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
