I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Me too!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
