Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize