I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize