Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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