I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
