it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
