I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
