C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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