Whod you bang
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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