Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
