Where did you get a picture of my penis
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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