he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
