Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
