I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
