It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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