i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
