i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
being pregnant is like rehab
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
