dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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