He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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