so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize