i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
