youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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