we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
