I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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