I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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