I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
vagina is talking i cant
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
